When faced with a spouse or a child who is overcome with negative self-talk, my husband devised a fabulous re-frame that just might shift your perspective!
Brock Turner. Austin Wilkerson. Jacob Anderson. Jordan Johnson. William Beebe. All the names are too many to list here, but they all share one thing: they were “good boys” from “good families” who committed (and in most cases were convicted of) rape on their college campuses. As parents of boys, we read these names and think “not my son!” As parents of girls, we think “please not my daughter.” But the reality is that at least 1 in 6 girls will be sexually assaulted while at college, and that boys— even “good boys from good families”--are usually the perpetrators. Here’s what you can do to stop it.
I was on a plane last weekend when a child sitting directly in front of me apparently rolled his eyes as his mom was talking to him from across the aisle. He looked to be about seven years old and had been well-behaved (as best I could tell) during the entire five-hour flight. And though I didn’t see the eye roll, I couldn’t help but notice what happened next: the child’s father, seated two seats away, erupted, reached over his older son seated in the middle, and forcefully grabbed the youngster by his shirt. Dad then proceeded to berate his younger son telling him that he had had enough, that he had no idea how serious his offense was, and that they were *this* close to sending the child “away.” As tears streamed down this young boy’s face, his father angrily explained to him that he was the sole reason their family was always in chaos and that no one enjoyed him or being with him. Countless other things were said that I can’t recall now, but I was struck by the interaction and saddened for both the child and his father; neither of them were able to show up as their best selves in that moment….
With Christmas only two days away, should you rethink any of the gifts you've decided to give? Game consoles and Fortnite are sure to be under the tree for many a child this season, but is that a good idea? Are you comfortable with the dynamics and potential issues a game like that could be bringing into your family? And beyond the game itself, are you aware of and prepared to handle predators using the game as an avenue to your children (something not addressed in this article)? It's worth considering and being thoughtful about... What is your family's plan for dealing with this game and others? Read more from the Wall Street Journal….
The holidays are, for many, a wonderful time to be with family and friends, share meals and celebrations, and to pause and be thankful. But for children and teens, the holidays can also be fraught with discomfort as they face family members and friends who want to hug, kiss, or snuggle them as a way to say hello, bid goodbye, or show gratitude or affection. Hare some easy tips to help you support your teen as he/she navigates this challenging social landscape this season (and the entire year)!
Companies are providing employees who are new parents, with coaching sessions, either in person, over the phone or through small group sessions that may be broadcast over the web. They are hoping to retain more women by helping them through a stressful time, while eventually improving gender diversity among their senior employees. Read more from the NY Times.
Coaching can be an incredibly powerful and transformative tool for parents, children and families. It takes an investment of time and money and energy, but the benefits make that well-worth it. I have seen these changes in my clients. Contact me for more information on the benefits of coaching--after all, we can all use a little support and encouragement in this tough journey we call parenting.
We are so excited to announce the new ownership of a nationally known and respected business Savvy Parents Safe Kids, a Seattle-based company whose mission it is to provide parents, early educators and other caring adults with the strategies they need to confidently talk to kids and teens about personal safety in order to reduce the number of children, teens, and young adults impacted by sexual abuse, abduction and other crimes. Christy will be running this alongside The Heartful Parent, and look forward to some exciting collaborations between the two companies -- she has big plans! Stay tuned for more information in the weeks and months to come! And if you are a part of an organization, group, or business that might be interested in a Savvy Parents Safe Kids presentation, let her know! She’s anxious to get out there to help start keeping kids safe!